bellum omnim contra omnes

157 Followers
641 Following
3K Posts

there is no Zion save where you are.

i need a job.

Chabad and Hillel warned you about me. too brown for white people; too white for everyone else—don't believe what you heard about me, the real me is worse. plural. Jewish, epigenetic trauma included.

#AAC, anarcho*, anti-zionist, #Autistic, #Deaf, #Disability, epileptic, #LongCOVID, mentally ill. clean & #Sober. touch averse.

18+, minors DNI. empty profile/picture/posts DNI. TBS-stans DNI. no unsolicited advice/simulated physical contact.

pronounshe/him mostly, spattering of they/them in queer circumstances.
icon alt textred all caps lettering on white banners on a red background: no future is the new future.
header image alt texta protest sign reading: This Jew Opposes U.S. Support for Israel's War on Gaza
aaaaand three hours later i'm awake again, so i can go to the social security office basically first thing to drop off paperwork.

@theautisticcoach pulling meltdowns into internalised experiences was one of the major things i did in my twenties and now that it's done it's very hard to un-do although some of it has come back to the surface with various unmasking.

i can't easily decide which is worse.

Not all autistic meltdowns are visible.

Some of them look like smiling, nodding, “I’m fine.”

All while your body is on fire.

Internalised meltdowns don’t disappear.

They get redirected - into dissociation.

Into self-blame.

And because no one sees them, no one believes how much they cost.

I would respect it more if it was called No Presidents
starting page six of the document for social security, just under three thousand words and i haven't gotten done with everything yet.
i have a forum assignment that i need to do too, although it's not a terribly significant portion of the grade in that class.
just making it to describing things that i do going out of the house. cripes this is ridiculously awful to have to do.
time to get back to it. let's see if the ice cream has increased my motivation.
having to write out my day in fantastic detail for social security so they'll remember i'm really and actually disabled.

grateful that my addiction studies professor is understanding and that even when i admitted i didn't have a good excuse other than body hurting was willing to reopen an exam for me to do by the end of this week, which i can definitely do.

i was just in so much pain that i literally forgot schoolwork existed.