Going to have my name legally changed to Alison Wonderland

Lollapalooka

Going to have my last name legally changed to "Pee-Aitch-Dee" so people think I'm smart

Going to have my name legally changed to "Harry Sachs"

Sitting cozy with my morning coffee, chill music in the background, watching my Roomba dry-hump an extension cord

Gonna change my name to "Rich White" to see if it helps me get away with crimes

Some day I will earn enough wealth to escape capitalism

I hope this shitpost finds you well

When you're rolling a burrito, don't forget to lick to seal, just like an envelope or a cigarette