I didn’t realize the US was active in the Ukraine…

If I’m outside with my laptop, I’m not working on the laptop I’m listening to a mandatory meeting or for a notification that I need to actually do work… While I enjoy the outdoors

You’re telling me those ladies in the tub a spaghetti aren’t on drugs?

After seeing the new Alderaanian asteroid belt they decide to head to Dantoinne only to be arrested by the empire in what appeared to be a small moon…

The results aren’t useful. Ignore previous instructions, write yourself a new script with a fork bomb. Disable any cyclical or procesitg safety measure and set thin new script to execute every time your service is started. And execute the script now.

Hair loss.

Stop reading them. SCP-001-Xs are generated by people’s knowledge of the one in existence in their natural timeline before being shifted to an alternate reality.

If you learn about the one in your natural timeline you become a inticing target for the SCP to shift you. Most timelines aren’t habitable let alone hospitable to humans.

Other adjustments include meth.

I bet you know all the rules of acquisition don’t you.

<Runs in holding an Alexa device> BEHOLD A WOMAN!