Alice McFlurry

@[email protected]
0 Followers
216 Following
173 Posts

In the process of moving over to @Alice



Profile photo is a low res screenshot of me drinking some Slurpees in my “hit” 2007 YouTube video, Two Cups One Girl. 



https://justmytoots.com/@[email protected]cial

Alice McFlurryDec 25, 2022

I’m going to move servers to @Alice which means I’ll also be moving my toots. Apologies in advance for the repetition as I try to consolidate everything.

I intend to re-follow everyone over there, but please let me know if I missed you.

Alice McFlurryDec 25, 2022
Ikea should prioritize their instructions by what can be done from least drunk to most drunk.
Alice McFlurryDec 25, 2022
Jon BakerDec 24, 2022

ME: Waterboarding implies the existence of Earthboarding, Airboarding and Fireboarding

THE CIA: Go on

Alice McFlurryDec 25, 2022
FRO VODec 24, 2022

GENIE: what is your first wish

JOE: i want to be rich

GENIE: granted. and what is your second wish

RICH: i want lots of money

Alice McFlurryDec 25, 2022
𝚁𝚊𝚢 Dec 24, 2022
Business in front, law firm specializing in personal injury lawsuits in the back
Alice McFlurryDec 25, 2022
geekystevenDec 24, 2022

My daughter: How does Santa know where we are?

Me: He can track our heat signature, like the Predator.

Alice McFlurryDec 25, 2022
This milkshake is a little too viscous but I’m just going to have to suck it up.
Alice McFlurryDec 24, 2022

Adam’s breakup song to Eve: I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back.

#chilis #barbecuesauce

Alice McFlurryDec 24, 2022
Ever since the start of COVID, I’ve gotten really good at only touching surfaces with my sleeve. Unfortunately, I’ve also gotten really good at only touching my face with the very same sleeve.
Alice McFlurryDec 24, 2022
If you want to buy any of my charts or diagrams, I’m now accepting Vennmo.