There's a lot of people you don't like until you get to know them better. Then you REALLY don't like 'em.

If you're uncoordinated and you know it, clap your hands! Well, try, anyhow.

I bet they wouldn't be raiding John Bolton's house if he was hiding the Epstein files...

I'll procrastinate later.

The main thing I like about badminton is picturing the person who invented it trying to talk people into trying it out with them.

Little known historical fact: Horst Wessel also used to go by the nickname "Big Balls."

Did you know you can just make things up? Yep, you can. You know who told me that? A Martian ninja.

My advice is, go around your neighborhood offering people fifteen dollars for their house. You never know who's crazy and stupid.

I'm not trying to say that my co-worker is weird, but whenever she doesn't come to work we all figure she's probably off somewhere sewing a playsuit for a chicken.