Look everyone, Ms. Moneybags owns a home!

Go to school for 20 years, manage to land a job, get assigned to putting underpants on rats. Nice.

Move over, Cybermen, Tiremen are the new Dr. Who villains.

Not wrong. But also wrong.

In related news, the Doritos factory has significantly increased production capacity.

No matter whether it’s labeled or not, you don’t start ladling on the salsa until you’ve tasted it first. What a maroon.

I would give my life for Santiago.

All the gay people I know eat the same kinds of foods I do. Uh oh.

I bet she laughs at salad, too.

That’s only 14 hot dogs per person. Totally reasonable for two adults or six kids in trench coats.