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"That's pukka, bruv! Can I 'ave some more?" - Jamie Oliver Twist.
When you find out it’s actually oven fish and chips.
Hunting, but with the dogs ripping to pieces anyone wearing a riding hat and red coat.
One of my silly friends reckons I should buy a thesaurus. What a silly idea! Why would I want a silly thesaurus?
Had anybody ever heard of the Earthshot Project before this week? No, didn’t think so.

Luis Suarez crying his eyes out after Uruguay are eliminated.

What’s been your favourite World Cup moment, so far?

Dads: Turn that bloody light off! It’s like Blackpool Illuminations in here. Do you think I’m made of money?

Dads at Christmas: I don’t think 48 strings of lights on the outside of the house is enough, love. Just popping to B&Q for 27 more and a 6ft reindeer that lights up in 8 different colours.

@historymonk That sounds like a great calendar. Good try with the hints. Maybe next year.
@TomFoxTom The Better Half bought me an Industrial Strength IPA Advent Calendar this time last year. It was remarkably well received. Tragically, perhaps because night always follows day, it appears to have been a one-off. Even employing the height of subtlety ("Remember that fabulous beer calendar you got me last year?") seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
I think - it’s very dark so I’m not certain - but I think Dismal Denis next door might have put the wrong bin out. It’s difficult to explain how wonderful that would be.
It would almost make up for none of you having bought me and Advent Calendar.