I thought long and hard and stretched my imagination beyond the limits of human endurance and decided to name this piece "Wombatty McWombatface".
In these turbulent times, it's reassuring to know that our fearless, ground-breaking journalists are ready to risk their lives to bring us the stories that really matter.
"I saw this dodgy bloke get off a yacht and go straight to the House of Lords."
"I've lost everything except for a few million quid and a really big house."
"And what do you say to critics who dismiss you as a gibbering shitgibbon?"
"Inflation. Economy. Deficit. Boats."
Kate Moss on Coke? Someone in marketing has a keen sense of irony.
Poison puddings for Brexit babies.
The team of furniture experts tasked with restoring the Coronation chair have given up and bought a new one.
“The Vulcan ambassador’s coming to dinner in 2 hours and I forgot to get the sausages out of the freezer, what am I to do?”
“Set your phasers to defrost.”
