Village Person

988 Followers
781 Following
207 Posts
Here for the jokes! On a life raft from Twitter @SvnSxty.

Detective: and how long has she been missing?

Me: *holding back tears* 3 days

Detective: well we have her social media so we know what she looks like

Me: not really

on the McDonald's secret menu you can order a Fleetwood Mac
@ScottSoCal I mean if anyone starts quoting him really
@dorf ah yes of course
@dorf the old pepcid OD

Me: I don't think those pills I was given at the concert were for heartburn at all

My Dog: no probably not

@MyLittleMetroid 🎵S cluuuuuuub
@pjcountryman couldn't seat em all had to table a few