Detective: and how long has she been missing?
Me: *holding back tears* 3 days
Detective: well we have her social media so we know what she looks like
Me: not really
Village Person
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Here for the jokes! On a life raft from Twitter @SvnSxty.
on the McDonald's secret menu you can order a Fleetwood Mac
@ScottSoCal I mean if anyone starts quoting him really
@dorf ah yes of course
@dorf the old pepcid OD
Me: I don't think those pills I was given at the concert were for heartburn at all
My Dog: no probably not
@MyLittleMetroid 🎵S cluuuuuuub
@pjcountryman couldn't seat em all had to table a few