641 Followers
157 Following
699 Posts
Big smartass, small pond. Based on true events and other bullshit I made up. Sometimes funny, often vulgar. #TwitterMigration #TwitterRefugee

Everyone just shut the hell up and leave me the fuck alone for three days and I’ll forgive all your sins. Alright??

-Jesus probably

Roads be like
Some of y’all never been to The Dark Side of the Moon and it shows.
I don’t usually pay much attention to my birthday. If you’re born between December 23rd-26th, that’s Jesus’s birthday and you better get used to it. 🤷‍♂️
But my fam really came through this year with this Letterkenny jersey. Big pimpin. Pitter-patter!
It’s not the sweater, the ugly was inside you the whole time.
The Muppets Say Anything
Time to trim the tree 🎄🌲
😎