This is my barbie.

@RiotGrlErin made this for me! Thanks!

Ptarmigan Cheese™
Now made with 100% real bird milk

Ok universe, I've had enough of your fuckery. Kindly move on to the next doofus.

I love the "writing ideas" that I jot down in my note app when I'm half asleep. They're always like "bananana man without face." Perfect.

The past tense of "read" should be "red" and everybody needs to stop being a coward about this.

Kicked out of book club when Carol exposed my potluck 3 bean salad as “2 beans and some kind of canned meat.”

If Cinderella's shoe fits perfectly, then why did it fall off?