When I first came out as trans, I tried to use the name Nyssa, taken from St. Gregory of Nyssa. An early Christian mystic, St. Gregory is noted for having developed a theology of gender that, in essence, renders sex superfluous in the eyes of God. Moreover, his manuscript on the life of Moses is noted for its overriding queer subtext. Finally, he is the first writer in the Christian tradition to condemn slavery in unqualified terms. He also articulated a theology of salvation in which all are to be ultimately saved, including the Devil himself, for all creation flows from God and all that flows from God is good.

Reading about St. Gregory helped me feel comfortable about my queerness in the context of my Christian upbringing, and helped me feel as though I could be religious without the baggage that necessarily comes from a doctrine of fire and brimstone. He was, and is, an inspiration. But, ultimately, the name Nyssa never quite worked for me, never quite felt mine.

I now go by Twilight. A few months ago, I did DXM and watched My Little Pony with my roommate. I began having delusions that I was the protagonist of the show, Twilight Sparkle, and my just roommate rolled with it. Even after we stopped taking the drug, the name just sort of stuck, and I realized at some point that I actually liked it quite a bit more than Nyssa.

Idek what the point of me sharing this was, other than that... fuck anyone who tells you that you need to have a super deep story behind your name or any other such nonsense. Name yourself after a fictional pony, it doesn't matter as long as it works for you.