the biggest lie that the media told us is that it's fun to stay at the YMCA

Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a problem with my drier - over the Christmas break it seems to be shrinking my clothes more than usual

logging into an ai site and having to click on "i'm not a robot" seems like a double standard

Is it ok if I told this dog that I'm dog-sitting that he's a good boy, when all he's really done is breathe loudly?

oh, you only have two? dude, i am chock full of wolves

gonna keep my whole department in a meeting until one of them can explain to me how the coffee machine knows what flavour of pod i put in

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was that thing where he gets you to pull his finger.