Famous last words from every IT person when the GIS Analyst explains how big the data files are:

"Don't worry. Our network can handle it."

(I warned them)

#GISchat

Man in polyester suit: so what you do is you type any combination of words and it displays the words statistically most likely to come after those words.

Shark Tank judge: Okay... So what is the purpose of your little sentence guesser?

Polyester suit man: It will destroy civilization, obviously.

You never see time travelers use salt in get-rich schemes, but for a few bucks at the supermarket you can have salt of quality and quantity rarely seen in the ancient world. Show up to feasts and just hand the salt around. Make it rain salt. You'd be able to get plenty of shiny rocks for that.

But no, time travelers always bring gold. Never salt. Despite the fact that "salary" literally comes from the Roman word for salt.

Basically, go back in time, bring salt, exchange salt for worthless trinkets, return to future, make a killing on the antiquities market.

For that matter, show up with some stainless steel. Or what about aluminum? The ancient world would go apeshit over aluminum.

And that's saying nothing of going back in time and being a wizard because you remember a little calculus from high school. Hell, the concept of zero and Arabic numerals would blow their minds when used at the right time.

What about going back in time and bringing refined sugar? You could print your own money.

But no, they always do the boring thing.

Why do so many people these days

• talk on the phone? Like, to their friends?
• prefer having their phone on speaker‽
• hold their "set to speaker" phones like they're not holding a telephone, which has a nice little speaker designed to go right next to your ear, but instead like an uptight waiter in some cartoon? Like it's a tiny little dessert plate, and they're intensely engaged in their dialogue with the leprechaun standing atop?

Happy Pride Month mappers!

#lgbtq #lgb #trans #queer
#OpenStreetMap #OSM #gis #gischat

"We invented a machine that thinks!"

"It's not thinking..."

"Technically true, but it can CREATE new content out of thin air."

"It steals everything it spits out by scraping the internet..."

"Okay, got me there, but think of the information access; now everyone with a phone has their own research assistant and the Library of Alexandria!"

"The machine spits out wrong answers; like every time."

"Look, fuck you, we own everything and you're buying it."

#WeLiveInASociety #HowIBecameTheJoker