I've realized I need real life. Not flirting when you can.
Lemonmartinis
- 123 Followers
- 54 Following
- 134 Posts
Probably overthinking
Corduroy NegligeeYou had me at, “Listen to this song that makes me think of you.”
Alice McFlurry 
It’s my favorite time of the year when I buy a couple of boxes of Thin Mints from about ten different Girl Scouts so they won’t know how many Thin Mints I’m actually eating.
The irony of the egg costing more than the drugs they were telling us would fry our brain
I think when every man turns 70 they're given a manual that says you must remove every single leaf from your lawn at 7 am with a leaf blower. Every. Day.
"Jump to the recipe" but for getting to the point in long emails
The Canadude 
The cake was implied.
High January helps with dry January.
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was getting advertisers to claim bird feeder squirrel proof.
Is it sad that when woman at the ABC store told me she thought the year on my driver's license was fraudulent it made my day?