I’m going to name my twins Laurel and Yanni so neither will know which one I’m talking to.
KevBot
@KevBot@beige.party
- 834 Followers
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- 135 Posts
Daddy needs a daiquiri!
It’s even hard for me to tell, but my wife said one is always dressed in white and gold and the other is dressed in black and blue.
I don’t know why Leonard DiCaprio keeps dating 25 year olds. That sounds really…annoying.
Alice McFlurry 
My dying wish is to have my funeral procession done via PedalPub.
@Alice If Hello Kitty isn’t a cat, she’s at least a furry with a cat persona. Checkmate, Hello Kitty PR.
For my SNL audition, I’d like to do an impersonation of a person who has been banned from Facebook, so they use yelp as their only social media platform and post EVERYTHING on there.
@Alice Please don’t be mad at me! I was in my 20s and only had $10.
It’s a modern-day episode of Supermarket Sweep where you have to wait 10+ minutes for an associate to FINALLY appear and unlock the plexiglass cage in order to fill your cart.
Yeeeeahhhhhh buuuuooooooyyyy!
U no I fu¢k wit J. Crew!