I’m going to name my twins Laurel and Yanni so neither will know which one I’m talking to.
KevBot
@KevBot@beige.party
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Daddy needs a daiquiri!
It’s even hard for me to tell, but my wife said one is always dressed in white and gold and the other is dressed in black and blue.
I don’t know why Leonard DiCaprio keeps dating 25 year olds. That sounds really…annoying.
Alice McFlurry 
My dying wish is to have my funeral procession done via PedalPub.
For my SNL audition, I’d like to do an impersonation of a person who has been banned from Facebook, so they use yelp as their only social media platform and post EVERYTHING on there.
It’s a modern-day episode of Supermarket Sweep where you have to wait 10+ minutes for an associate to FINALLY appear and unlock the plexiglass cage in order to fill your cart.
Yeeeeahhhhhh buuuuooooooyyyy!
U no I fu¢k wit J. Crew!
In case it’s unclear, that’s an insult.
To both of them.
To both of them.
Bugs Bunny is the Jerry Seinfeld of cartoons.
Congratulations to all C-section babies for making their grand entrance in the style of the movie “Alien.”