A year ago I tried to be positive about myself as things were getting better for me. Calling myself the most handsome and moral man alive.
Elevating praise so high it became a form of criticism. So obviously flawed an image it didn't reflect any positivity back at me. A reality of designed obsolescence, made to fail.
Which was why I started to fail. Why I became a bad human
And it needs to change
So today I'm hopeful. Things will change. Because I'm strong enough to make them change
Late night thoughts for no one, but which I which need saying
I've started a habit of reflexively saying I'm a bad human. Saying it was reflex and I thought was there to only shield myself from other people thinking that before I was able to say it
But a friend called me on itm asked me what makes me bad. And I had no answer. I actually think I'm a good person, but I just. kept. on. saying. it. Realised that by bad I might mean not productive. But the words we use about ourselves shape reality
@hownottodraw UGH, that took so long to write. I really don't want to feel like I'm imposing on people on the internet when they might already get so much unwanted and possibly negative attention
I'm always scared of making people sad on the internet. Hopefully intentions come through!