THE RIGHT: Kidnaps governors
THE RIGHT: Murders senators
THE RIGHT: Sends rape threats to presidential candidates
THE RIGHT: Shoots moms in the face
THE RIGHT: Mounts an insurrection
THE RIGHT: Bombs fishermen
THE RIGHT: Kidnaps 5 year olds
THE RIGHT: Commits treason
THE RIGHT: Rapes 7 year olds for fun

NEWS CHYRON: tHe rAdiCaL lEfT iS pEacEfuLLy pRoTeStiNg wHaT dO???

I will never understand why this isn't the top headline on every news station everywhere in the country every day for the next three years.

If Biden had said with his whole chest the words "I AM ALLOWED TO DESTROY THE COUNTRY", Fox News would be giving tips on how to make homemade pipe bombs.

"I was told you're a monster," the hero said.

"So they say," said the monster.

"But you're beautiful!"

"Thank you."

"Have you always been a monster?"

"Heh. I was a young maiden. But I did something forbidden."

"And became a monster?"

"Got named a monster."

"What did you do?"

"I hit back."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

"How about I kidnap the dragon," the knight said, "and you come to rescue them?"

"It's still the same story," the princess said.

"No! We're all subverting-"

"I am tired of being in stories," the dragon said.

"What?"

"If you're not in a story, what even are you?"

"I'd like to find out."

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

The folks who shot an actively praying pastor in the head with multiple pepper balls and then drenched him in pepper spray would like you to know they're very concerned about "agitators" interrupting religious services.

https://www.rawstory.com/ice-protesters-released/

"My husband complains about the cold," the man said. "Can you teach me a spell to keep him warm?"

"I can teach you to bind hair into a net to catch heat," the wizard said, "using arcane counting and a pair of fine wands."

After a while, the man said "Isn't this knitting?"

"This, too, is magic."

#TootFic #MicroFiction #SmallStories

"Is it true you live backwards in time?" the queen asked.

"Not yet, but it will be," Merlin replied. "And then, I will have."

"You speak in riddles. But you have seen the future? What will it bring?"

"Fanfic."

"Is that a spell? What does it do?"

"It will give you Lancelot."

"What is that?"

#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories #fanfictionfanfic

Trump's death squads are now bombing protestors with hexochloroethane. This is a chemical weapon banned by the Geneva convention.

#libertyordeath #wearereneegood