Me: [uncontrollable sobbing] I can't see you anymore. I won't let you hurt me again.
Trainer: It was a sit-up. You did one sit-up.
| @Jedigigi |
Jedi Cheesy Grits
- 303 Followers
- 75 Following
- 166 Posts
I am here not knowing what Iβm doing. Highly medicated. Probably drinking coffee filled with dog hair. I like Star Wars.
I always get 2 orders of fries in the drive thru so I have something to eat with my burger when I get home.
π±πππ πππππUs: Live like thereβs no tomorrow.
Mayflies: So likeβ¦live?
bacon popsicle πTo save money on socks, have one leg amputated so that every new pair you buy lasts twice as long.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati donβt want you to know.
Meteorologists talking about clouds instead of meteors is why I have trust issues.
Me: I struggle with depression
Friend: What medication are you on?
Me: Oh, I canβt afford all that so I just write self deprecating jokes on the internet and eat a lot of doritos and cry often
[cute guy smiles at me, I pretend not to notice, he approaches]
Him: Hi
Me: (megaphone right up in his face) STRANGER DANGER
Him: Iβm breaking up with you
Me: (canβt hear him because Iβm trying to breakdance in my bubble wrap suit)
[cute guy smiles at me, I pretend not to notice, he approaches]
Him: Hi
Me: (megaphone right up in his face) STRANGER DANGER
Alice McFlurry 
I just saw a post by @dugglebutt that reminded me of my parentsβ interesting interior design choices, so I present this photo from when my dad placed a full-size adult bicycle on a ledge in the house as if he thought we lived in a Cracker Barrel.