How anout a nice, cold pitcher of some sweet DMTea instead?

Someone negative is now out of the picture: That ass is gone! “Mommy, what’s ass?” Another word for butt.

I know Mom has a butt, because everyone has butts, but she said “that butt is gone”, meaning she must have had a second at some point. Concusion: Buttectomy must have been performed, which is an oupatient procedure, thankfully.

Like the back of a Volkswagen?

The cover art from the album The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails

There’s gonna be a fight during the White House UFC event where the winner gets a cabinet position, isn’t there?..

In-da-can

Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for a late pizza!

Haven’t you always wanted a mon^key ?

"I find her attractive. She must have a penis!"

• their thoughts, probably

Did someone else listen to Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff, too?