I will not get over this given time nor exposure. That may be selfish but it is a selfishness I will afford myself and I am unashamed of it. It is being selfish to take care of myself.

I do it because I don't like the path acceptance will lead me down. I deserve to feel this anger and cold disgust for as long as I want to hold them.

I want them to be a part of me to remind me that I still have the right to be upset over this, regardless of what people do to paint my perceptions as invalid.

It's like every few weeks I pick at a particular mental scab and it comes off and suddenly I'm feeling really fucking weird again.

I know if I stop picking it will just scar over, as it were, but I want that shit to breathe. I want to feel these ways because I think they are the right way to feel about it.

People can adapt to any situation but this not something I want to adapt to and be okay with.