Mastodawn

@DocAtCDI

816 Followers

840 Following

19.1K Posts

A horse walks into a bar. The barkeep asks if it's an alcoholic. The horse replies, 'I don't think I am,' and promptly disappears.

Students of philosophy giggle, being familiar with the philosophical proposition of 'Cogito ergo sum': To explain beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

DocAtCDI 1h ago

Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

DocAtCDI 2h ago

I have a retail joke, and it's priceless... so it must be free! Huh, huh!

DocAtCDI 3h ago

What nationality is Santa?

North Polish.

DocAtCDI 4h ago

My wife said she was feeling light-headed from a low iron level. To help her, I've raised the ironing board to a more suitable height.

DocAtCDI 5h ago

Why don't dolphins have legs?

It would de-feet the whole porpoise.

DocAtCDI 6h ago

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

DocAtCDI 7h ago

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.

DocAtCDI 8h ago

Do you think in Africa they have Lynx UK?

If they did, would it smell of cigarettes and mild disappointment?

DocAtCDI 9h ago

How to catch a polar bear:
Cut a large hole in the ice.
Lay a circle of frozen peas around the hole.
When the bear comes to take a pea,
You kick him in the icehole.