I spent ages trying to cross a busy road...

A passerby said, there's a pelican crossing up the road.

I replied, I hope he's having better luck than me.

My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party,

So I made her and all her friends clean the house.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 7 years...

I don't want to interrupt her.

Why are women bad at reading road maps?

Because they are told this <---> is 6 inches.