In church, someone asked what a bishop does. Evidently, 'move diagonally' wasn't the answer.
@DocAtCDI
- 897 Followers
- 837 Following
- 21.6K Posts
My boss said to me, 'You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?' I said, 'I'm not sure. It's hard to keep track.'
At weddings, old people always poke me and say, 'You'll be next!' It's so annoying! So, I've started doing the same to them at funerals.
The bartender looked over at me and said, 'Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?'
'Why would I want two empty glasses?' I asked.
I'm sorry, sir, your ex-wife was pronounced dead.
I can't believe I've been pronouncing it wrong all this time!