Claude Poirier

@[email protected]
71 Followers
140 Following
406 Posts
It’s not a lie if you don’t know the truth.
Content Warning: May contain peanuts seasoned in snark, consume responsibly. Must be legal age.

* searchable *
Who:The man behind the curtain.
What:Mostly nonsense. Some truth.
When:6am-8pm EDT
Why:I laugh so I don’t cry.
Claude PoirierAug 22, 2023
Wisdom comes from learning after your 100 or so past failures.
Claude PoirierAug 17, 2023
Queen Of CoffeeAug 16, 2023

I have a confession. What appears to be a bag of beets in my freezer is really an empty bag I hide my dark chocolate in. It's been 6 months and no one has discovered and eaten my chocolate.

Keeping my chocolate safe is a priority.

Claude PoirierAug 17, 2023
As a kid I ate a lot of cereal, especially Rice Crispies. Now years later every time I stand up I snap, crackle and pop.
Claude PoirierAug 7, 2023
Crockett HoughtonAug 7, 2023
If I sat down and thought about my life I could write one hell of a book. It would be weird, funny, scary. You'd read it and several times wonder how I didn't die or how I’m still allowed to walk around unattended among everyday people. Chapter four would appall you
Claude PoirierAug 3, 2023
I would try to act my age but I’m a terrible actor.
Claude PoirierJul 31, 2023
Ika MakimakiJul 24, 2023
We are now in the middle of "Oops"
Claude PoirierJul 31, 2023
I know that women are smarter than men because I’ve never seen an all female cast of Jackass.
Claude PoirierJul 31, 2023
X - The sign of the beast.
Claude PoirierJul 31, 2023
BobJul 31, 2023
It used to bother me that my kids didn’t follow me on social media until I realized they get to hear my dad jokes live.
Claude PoirierJul 31, 2023
Some days I get so tired from sitting on the couch all day watching TV that I have to go to bed and lie down while I watch TV.