The Joke: welcome to Mastodon, here's your fursuit and your copy of Das Kapital

Reality: welcome to Mastodon, here's your six alt fursonas, a copy of the Anarchist's Cookbook, an eight-week course on the programming language of your choice, a tarot deck, some brand spanking new hormones, and a complex geometric sigil you should memorize that will turn into a neural counter-virus so that when the Singularity finally hits we can make sure The Straights don't claim it for themselves