So yeah, until I get bored, if you boost this I will tell what is almost certainly a lie about you.

Something like "@soandso sneaks into my apartment every night and draws a moustache on me" or "@thisotherguy always carries around exactly USD$2.72 is pennies and refuses to say why. We can only assume it is for sexual purposes"

As you all know, I am not one to spread rumours. But I feel that I must inform you that @[email protected] only ever does the crab walk except when walking a pet crab.

Parents have confirmed that this behaviour has been going on since childhood.

Unfortunately the pet crab was not available for comment.