Sometimes people ask me how I could have blamed myself and not pressed charges when I was raped. The answer, ultimately, is complicated and involves what I know or believe about the criminal justice system and how it prosecutes rape.

But, like, if you've ever heard someone make comments about a guy being so good looking he'd never *have to* rape someone -- or she's so unattractive she should just be grateful a man ever wanted her anyway -- then you already know why.