Moved: -> @[email protected]May 1, 2017

In regards to uh, a Recent Boost, by Trev, about people not "looking the part"

it's so important to stand up against that. "Looking the part" is often an expensive process. "It costs a lot to look this poor" etc. Who "looks the part"? People in my local community have complained about being pushed out of white lgbt spaces for appearing to be "just another working-class puerto rican" which somehow precludes being a Real Queer. What fashions are tied to what cultures? Who gets to "appear gay"?

Show threadSoup-Like Gender Homogenate ✅
@shel This is something I struggle a bit with as I try to embrace my bi identity a bit more... I shouldn't _have_ to try figure out how to "appear gay", I should just be myself, and that should be enough... *sigh*
May 1, 2017 at 7:39pmWeb
Show threadMoved: -> @[email protected]May 1, 2017
@sanspoint yeah like it's difficult to promote "You should be able to explore less gender conforming behaviors and be yourself" while also maintaining "If being comfortable and yourself does not involve becoming bright and colorful then that's fine"
Show threadSoup-Like Gender Homogenate ✅May 1, 2017
@shel Thank you!
Show threadSoup-Like Gender Homogenate ✅May 1, 2017
@shel (There's also a bit of fear too, owing to the trauma I dealt with being bullied as a child. To present more gender non-conforming also feels a bit like opening myself up to more abuse, even though I know it's less likely to happen now. Less likely, but far from impossible. It's why it's so good to have safe spaces where one can experiment a bit.)
Show threadMoved: -> @[email protected]May 1, 2017
@sanspoint absolutely!!! This is a huge important issue. I think expecting people the "look the part" also often is putting an unfair expectation on people to be years ahead in growing comfortable with knowing who they are just to enter the space where they could feel safe exploring that