sleep is not happening for me rn i closed my eyes & ended up in depth planning a hypothetical suicide and planning out an elaborate note with a whole individual thing written for a bunch of different people. but i would only do this if i had certain means which i have 0 access to & only if i was really sure i wanted to do it. and cuz i'm not actually gonna kms in the near future i basically just painstakingly processed my feelings for a lot of people for no reason and it wasn't fun