Me: "What'd you study in school today?"
Kid: "We talked about poverty."
Me: "Oh, like what?"
Kid: "In countries where people make a dollar a day."
Me: "You know there's a woman living in her car in front of the house?"
Kid: Stunned silence.
Wife: "What?!?"
Meanwhile, I'm out walking the dog a short time ago and there's an unopened can of food just laying in the grass. About 15 minutes later, I get a text from neighbor saying that the homeless woman got into a verbal altercation with another neighbor because she walked up to him while he was outside playing catch with his kids and asked if she could borrow a can opener. He said no. Then called the city.
Way to go fuckwit. Also, nice example to set. Not!
Naturally, he's a tech bro.
Wife: "You know, he's under no obligation to give her a can opener."
Me: "No, but he could be less of a prick."
Wife: "But he's out there with his little kids."
Me: "She didn't ask to eat a kid."
Kid: "You know, Dad has a good point there."
Me: "If cans had existed at the time of the old testament, I bet some kid would be doing their Bar Mitvah speech about loaning strangers a can opener."
Wife: "Ok, you can stop now."
Me: "Jesus would have lent an opener. And Gandhi."
Me: "I talked to the woman in the car this morning as she was about to leave on her bike. She thought Mabel was cute."
Kid: "Well who wouldn't?"
Me: "I made a comment about avoiding rain and she said she was just heading to CTA and had an umbrella. She then checked her phone before taking off."
Kid: "Probably working in city."
Other kid: "Doesn't seem like a fent-fueled child eater."
Me: "I've now actually talked more with this woman than that can-opener denying neighbor."
David Beazley