Delta SierraPersonal nightmare: housefly landing on my cock while peeing. Can't just shake it off; I'm peeing. DEFINITELY don't want to swat it. Bug spray is out of the question.
It... it just happened. In this bathroom. I'm shook, folks.
(Cock not pictured).
Fucking hell I spelled wiener wrong.
I before E except after C, turns out I am an actual clown. Honk honk.
Cyrik@notthatdelta Oh I've had worse
One summer as a kid at my grandparents', I was out playing in the water for a while, then I came back in and put on my clothes
And then after a few minutes I felt… very uncomfortable
So I went back to the bathroom to check things out, and sure enough, an ant had crawled into my briefs while I was out
And I guess the little fucker decided that if he was going out, he was gonna take his last chance to make his mark on the world
So he bit my ball. And was just… hanging there.
I really couldn't decide how serious of an injury this was and I'm still not sure!
@CyrikCroc Ant had a chance to be a *ahem* baller, and took it!
I have a thing about flies, as a result of something dying in my chimney. Long story short, eggs got laid in the carcass, flies hatched, a significant portion of them flew down and in instead of up and out... I came home to a few thousand flies on every surface in my house. The noise alone would have driven a lesser man to murder.
Anyways, come back when you've had a tick embedded just below the head of your shaft (when you pull them out, their head tends to detach from their body... *shudder*)
Tick Dick!
@notthatdelta NO I WILL NOT COME BACK FROM THAT THANKYOUVERYMUCH
@CyrikCroc 'sokay, I almost didn't come back from that one myself.
Anyways, follow me for more (infrequent) mention of ways a penis can get mangled!
Or don't, actually. That's not a fun topic.
Elle J. SnyderOoh this is an easy one! Handheld vacuum neat to the toilet!! 😋
@Ourladyofpoetics that'd do it!
...except this was a public toilet, and I don't usually carry a vacuum with me (ugh, insult to injury, that fly probably landed on someone else's junk before it alighted on mine).