Bumper Harvest1d ago

im gonna put a poll below this lol

edit: so this has got way more attention than the usual 7 or so responses I generally get on polls (and it keeps going) and for that I'm going to mute the thread for a bit. It's getting a bit overwhelming.

If you're someone who had parents, that while not perfect, at least tried, I genuinely hope you appreciate how luck you are, and cherish that.

Those of you who did not, and found yourselves checkinging multiple options, I just want to let you know you're seen and heard, even if I havent responded to every comment, I have read them. Your experiences were valid, and no amount of gaslighting will ever take away your truth. I hope you all find, or have found, the path towards healing, however that may look for you.

Show threadBumper Harvest1d ago
multiple choice for those of us who were multi-talented
tomboy
sensitive
mature
quiet
self-sufficient
lazy
Poll ends at .
Show threadLydia Vvinters1d ago
@MelkyWay Interesting list. In my parental generation (baby boomers) there was such a strong believe that recognising the deeper aspects of these complications would make them more real. And there still was significantly more stigma on mental health that was assumed to mean the youngster in question would have no future if it was called out. So, every single problem was downplayed. Including their own. It was not so much negligence, as more of a cultural/generational problem.
Show threadThe Great Llama 1d ago
@HeliaXyana @MelkyWay
Yep. I had a conversation with my boomer father about me being autistic and ran headlong into a solid wall of denial. I didn't push since there's no point... He can be pretty stubborn when he digs his heels in (probably wouldn't be helpful to point out to him that it can be hereditary 😆).
Show threadLydia Vvinters

@TheGreatLlama @MelkyWay

I so recognize that! I tried explaining my chronic depression to my secretly very chronically depressed father, but that didn’t go anywhere.

In hindsight, I wish I had pushed a bit harder. Since the main approach to deal with that as a big strong boomer man was alcoholism. Which is ultimately how we lost him. Sometimes I wonder how many boomers/ parent we lost to that path of denying mental health complications, leading to alcoholism, leading to cancer.

Jun 7 at 7:00amWeb
Show threadThe Great Llama 1d ago

@HeliaXyana @MelkyWay
That's definitely a shame.

My dad is still with us and he's doing well for 80. He's still active and fairly sharp, and retirement has helped his state of mind immensely. He married a nurse around 20 years ago and she is one of the most patient and caring people I've ever known, so I don't worry much about him.

He wasn't a bad father by any means, just has some blind spots that would be familiar to anyone who knows boomers.

Show threadLydia Vvinters1d ago

@TheGreatLlama @MelkyWay

Ah, yes, my father was a sweetheart. Drinking just made him a bit of a poetic philosopher. And precisely, it's an issue of blind spots. Not that there aren't any boomers guilty of neglecting their children, of course, but I think this list is very recognizable because of that reluctance to recognize more profound issues. That disproportionate fear of somehow indulging an issue.