As you know I hate „allies“ invading queer spaces. As a writing challenge I wanted to write a story told from the second person for ages. I began today. Let‘s see how this works out.
Of course I am interested into feedback - but please do not expect that I care about it. I know what I want to tell and how to tell. Feedback is expectation management for myself :)
I need to share this part of the story right away. The universal gay experience. BTW the story will hold the reader‘s hand very often.
Of course I am rewriting as I go:
And still, when the moment arrived — when another man moved close enough to become briefly possible — you reached instinctively for reassurance that you remained outside the possibility yourself.
Not outside the room.
Outside the implication.
He was gracious.
You did not ask what that cost him.
Most people never do.
Writing is a practice. I used to need several paragraphs to say the same thing I now said in o e paragraph.
Love behaves well in public. Love makes a clean argument. Love fits comfortably inside the language of tolerance and dignity and equal rights and all the careful respectable frameworks that allow everyone else to feel generous at a safe distance.
@jascha thank you for sharing your perspective in such a relatable way! 🤗
not sure, if my wording is right (I am clearly not a native speaker), but I liked reading your text, for me, it is easy to read (quality of writing) 🙂 you expressed so well, how a person shifts from being part of, to "downgrading" the approaching person probably unintentionally but socially learned (and probably not reflected) with just one sentence 👍
tomate 🍅
Prisma