@ThermiteBeGiants @piepants The Trad/Simp joke will never grow old. I genuinely still find it funny :)

@yon @ThermiteBeGiants @piepants

Contemporary UK English *is* the simplified version. The “traditional” version, going back about 1000 years, is more precisely called “Ænglisc”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_English

Old English - Wikipedia

@ThermiteBeGiants I am reliably informed by new Australians that English (Explicit) is a cunt of a dialect
@ThermiteBeGiants wait…so what’s Kiwi English?
@JoscelynTransient @ThermiteBeGiants 🇳🇿English (wholesome)
@coolandnormal @ThermiteBeGiants sounds bout right to me, Kiwis always made me feel so welcome and kind
@JoscelynTransient @ThermiteBeGiants literally the only times I've been in New Zealand and people haven't been super lovely was when they were calling me out on my shit (and they were 100% right).
@ThermiteBeGiants Watching Aussie dashcam videos is highly entertaining, did to the colourful responses from the cammers.

@ThermiteBeGiants I would have said:

🇺🇸 English (Obfuscated)

@unattributed @ThermiteBeGiants

There are vast regions of the US where the names Don and Dawn are phonetically indistinguishable. Also: Marry / Merry / Mary; Pour / Poor / Paw; Cot / Caught ; and Stalk / Stock.

Non-alcoholic fizzy drinks may be called soda, pop, tonic, soda pop, or coke, which any cryptologist will tell you is an attempt to prevent decoding by introducing the noise of variants.

@Arpie4Math @ThermiteBeGiants This is the evidence of obfuscation we needed. 
@ThermiteBeGiants Second Option should read English with lots of fucks
@ThermiteBeGiants English (traditional America)
English (Noord America)
English (East America)
English (Australia)
@melroy @ThermiteBeGiants True English is only spoken in England, and I find it odd and interesting that it's not one of the choices.

@wpeckham @melroy @ThermiteBeGiants Given that “Gannen” is the original version of the verb “to go”, I am glad to learn that you accept Geordie as the true standard bearer of the English language.

Or perhaps this is not what you meant?

In my experience, English is only enhanced by its encounters with and adoption by other cultures. That the language of Shakespeare was preserved longer in New England than in old, and the language of Dickens is closer to Australian than to modern British variants is well-known. Some of the more elegant English speakers I have known have been Kenyan, Sri Lankan, and Jamaican. Its wealth is in its diversity, a common enough lesson.

@ThermiteBeGiants
🇨🇦 English (Politely and Quirkily Profane) & French (Bloody-minded)

@ThermiteBeGiants

◯ 🇮🇳 English (Logical)

Where else can one prepone a meeting to do the needful?

@ThermiteBeGiants i also speak 🇮🇪 English (explicit)!

🔘 🇫🇷 English (For Sure)

@ThermiteBeGiants @ScriptFanix 

@ThermiteBeGiants the word "cunt" is one of utility here.

@ThermiteBeGiants

traditional: four yorkshiremen

simplified: why use many word when few do trick

explicit: a scot talking about trump

@ThermiteBeGiants (i fondly remember the word shitgibbon)
@ThermiteBeGiants that's it! I'm going to call US English as Simplified English from now on.

@ThermiteBeGiants

Scots still getting no love.

And Canadian, the hybrid of US/UK is left out