Alex Daily! May 1

RE: https://beepboop.one/@Alexis/116325843337157533

#MovieThread VII: The Kino Awakens, Chapter Five — May Edition

From 2020 to 2025 I watched 2370 movies.
In 2026 so far I've watched another 127, for a total of 2497 movies.

This month:
* Finishing the X-rewatch.
* Probably Costner.

 Previous thread:

Show threadAlex Daily! 

I slammed through the films of Martin Brest slightly too fast, so it'll be a little bit before I start the next Blank Check miniseries, but in the meantime, let's just finish the X-rewatch, sitting down in front of the TV to watch —

#128, or #2498, 2018’s “Deadpool 2.”

May 1 at 4:21pmWeb
Show threadAlex Daily! May 1
Correctly retriangulates "Deadpool" into something much more watchable. The commentary on comics, itself, and the cinematic landscape that surrounds it is a real step up from Can You Believe He’s Allowed to Reference His Butthole & Gay Joke, his best friends from the first one.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 1
Does have a fridging problem — yes, he fixes it, but a single post-credits scene is too outside of the main narrative to change the core issue — and I think it’s a shame to boil Cable down so far that he’s basically JUST a cunty Terminator, but all of this basically works for me. It’s funny, the action is consistently enjoyable, it’s all the same ingredients, really, but mixed... correctly.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 1
X-Force funny. Love Domino in this.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 1
(Why are all these well-behaved mutant orphans not just at the Xavier School, which appears to be down the road, to begin with?)
Show thread🇹 TiMay 1
@Alexis Xavier is busy dealing with the Phoenix Force or whatever
Show threadAlex Daily! May 1
@The_T It being the McAvoy one means I have NO idea what Xavier is up to.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2

Alright, Han's been frozen in carbonite for long enough, time to get him out, it's —

#129, or #2499, 1983's "Return of the Jedi." #4k83

Show threadAlex Daily! May 2

Oh, right, not seen Jabba at all yet, in these, have I.

Quality of the scene added to "Star Wars" aside, it does feel right that he's in more than just the one of these.

Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
How was the second Death Star constructed so fast?
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
Looked at Wookieepedia, read that Sheev had the original designer of the Death Star executed over the thermal exhaust port flaw and then cloned so he could design the second one, sighed, and closed the tab. #starwars
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
Bib Fortuna, one of the great gross pervert pervert stooges. Salacious Crumb, another great little creep.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
Just so many wonderful masks and puppets at Jabba's house.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
Threepio and Artoo have been sent to Jabba's to be traded for the Han block. Or, well, that's why Artoo has been sent here, to Threepio it's a ghastly surprise.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
Hey, it's the guy from the cartoon in the Holiday Special, Bob Feta.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
The droids are here, Chewie has been brought in by a bounty hunter who'll turn out to be Leia in disguise, now we see Lando is here in disguise, too. From Jabba's perspective this is a home invasion thriller.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
Being frozen in carbonite and then coming back out of it seems like a real dogshitter of a time.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
Nothing about the outfit in which Leia is kept as Jabba's prisoner is particularly sexy in context, is it.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
I would simply not get caught by Jabba and/or fed to the Rancor.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2

Luke kills the Rancor by hitting a spot in the right place — he gets it under a door, and then hits the button to close it with a rock.

Jabba's next step will be to feed him to the Sarlacc, a bigger, stronger, but also toothy monster he keeps in a different hole.

IT'S LIKE POETRY, IT FUCKING RHYMES

Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
Love the rubber Sarlacc prop. Just a big silly mess of teeth.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2

"Twilight is upon me, and soon night must fall."

Yoda another one who doesn't have half as much presence in the original trilogy as you'd imagine.

Show threadAlex Daily! May 2

"Your father he is."

thanks yoda for restating that for the audience

Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
As far as Luke is concerned, with a sample size of two Jedi dying in front of him, disappearing into the aether is just what happens when a Jedi dies.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2

"You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father!"
"Your father was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker, and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view."
"...A certain point of view?"

obi-wan fuck all the way off challenge 4aby

Show threadAlex Daily! May 2

"Yoda spoke of another."
"The other he spoke of is your twin sister."
"But I have no sister."

kiss anyone lately

Show threadAlex Daily! May 2

"Many Bothans died to bring us this information."

weird they haven't done Rogue Two yet

Show threadPat (she/her)May 2
@Alexis Really isn't. It can be sexy on cosplayers, but it's not even played up as sexy in the movie. Even aside from the whole context working against that unless you're a 14yo oriented toward women.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
@naga There's not been a single shot so far where it's "showing her off," as it were, it's not male gaze-y at all, she's always either in clear distress, danger, or escaping a dangerous situation. You really have to /only/ see that she's an attractive woman wearing very little to get much out of it.
Show threadTerence EdenMay 2
@Alexis BLASPHEMY!
Show threadAlex Daily! May 2
@Edent My hot Bob Feta take is, going just off the movies, he's really just one of a bunch of bounty hunters, and not particularly notable. It's the cartoon in the Holiday Special — and the toys — that make him an iconic cool guy!
Show threadPat (she/her)May 2
@Alexis Like anything secretive is...
Show threadAlex Daily! May 3

Time to sit down in front of my television and watch the movie where Jean Grey becomes the Phoenix. No, not that one. No, not that one. It’s —

#130, or #2500, 2019’s “Dark Phoenix.”

Show threadAlex Daily! May 3

Putting the focus on Jean’s perspective is well overdue after multiple movies where she’s mostly a problem some dudes have.

Unfortunately that means by definition putting a huge part of the picture on Sophie Turner’s shoulders, to whose strengths the part was never particularly well suited, and who Kinberg is not particularly well equipped to get much of interest out of.

Show threadAlex Daily! May 3
I still like a lot of this stuff. Endeavour sequence, the D-Men as undisputed heroes, Erik’s gay little commune. Train fight pretty good. But it’s hard to deny this final instalment may be the weakest.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 4

Let's just wrap this up, sitting down in front of the TV now to watch —

#131, or #2501, 2020's "The New Mutants."

Show threadAlex Daily! May 4

“Logan” ends with a band of orphaned mutants on the run towards freedom and safety.

“Deadpool 2” ends with a school full of orphaned mutants who’ll probably end up at the Xavier school.

“Dark Phoenix” ends with Hank has headmaster at that school, renamed, full of young, new students.

Show threadAlex Daily! May 4
When the X-movies start to come to an end, a next generation is extremely on its mind. 2020’s “The New Mutants” is the closest they ever get to that going anywhere. Does it live up to that promise? Does it leave you wanting to see more of that future?
Show threadAlex Daily! May 4
No, of course not.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 4

Because 2020’s “The New Mutants” isn’t about those orphans or about that next generation at all, it’s a dumb horror movie about an insane asylum that happens to be inhabited by a handful X-Men mutants.

(The picture does try to connect vaguely to “Logan” through giving Dani a vision of some footage of the facility X-23 is from, but that’s complete nonsense. That footage is from the future, for a start.)

Show threadAlex Daily! May 4

And as a horror picture, this is all just… basic. Everyone is mean for no reason, shit happens for no reason. The scares are basic, and what about any of this is X-Men, or is New Mutants?

Why isn’t mutant horror more specific to being a mutant? Why is mutant horror guys in smiley masks and big energy cloud bears?

Show threadAlex Daily! May 4
If there’s one thing that works here, it’s Anya Taylor-Joy as Illyana - you could drop this version of her into another, better take on the X-Men, ideally alongside the “Deadpool” Colossus, and we’d all agree, nailed it.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 4

2020's "The New Mutants" is ultimately just very weak.

It’s like if the MCU ended with the “Inhumans” show.

Show threadSean KleefeldMay 4
@Alexis OUCH! That's harsh!
Show threadAlex Daily! May 4
@SKleefeld And I kinda liked the “Inhumans” show!
Show threadSean KleefeldMay 4
@Alexis I couldn't finish it. I think I only made it through two, maybe two-and-a-half episodes before I had to turn it off.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 4
@SKleefeld I think the only MCU project I couldn't get through is "Helstrom," which so immediately felt so completely detached from what I cared about that I turned it off after ten minutes.
Show threadSean KleefeldMay 4
@Alexis Oh, man, I forgot Helstrom even came out! I don't think I've even seen trailers for it!
Show threadAlex Daily! May 5

The movie that dares to ask, what if Rosaline Russell was some guy's aunt, it's —

#132, or #2502, 1958 Best Picture nominee "Auntie Mame."

Show threadAlex Daily! May 5
Been a bit since I did a Best Picture nominee — "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," March 25, though since then I've also seen "The King's Speech" and "Scent of a Woman" — because the podcast I listen along to has been going in fits and spurts. And I'm about to run out!
Show threadAlex Daily! May 5
I would simply not be an orphan's aunt.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 5

"She just /loves/ little boys!"

ah I see, a reverse Gigi

Show threadAlex Daily! May 5
Really throwing the ol' Technicolour razzledazzle at the picture about an orphan left to live with his aunt.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 5
A lot going on here.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 5

"Missus Dennis, stockbroker want to say hello before he jump out of window."

figured out when this is set

Show threadAlex Daily! May 5
Auntie Mame's, ahem, spirited personality doesn't really work when she also has to do a job, does it.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 5
Have honestly grown quite eneamoured with this.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 5
Now I think it's too long, though.
Show threadAlex Daily! May 5
A delightful sequence of episodes in Auntie Mame’s life. Watch as she takes in an orphan. Watch as she hears the 1929 stock market crash has driven her stockbroker to the verge of suicide. Watch as she rides a horse so poorly it impresses the entire South. Watch as her new husband tumbles his entire ass off the Matterhorn. Watch as she turns a pair of antisemites’ backyard into an home for Jewish orphans.
Show threadeuropean handle  🎏May 1
@Alexis *pffft* *giggle giggle* Brest
Show threadAlex Daily! May 1
@kurt Ironically, the Brest-Man's final film is not the tits but complete ass.