Assert dominance: Piss on the guard.

Assert dominance: throw bag full of shit at the guard.

Throw guard at guard?

En garde!

… such a manuever may be frot with peril.

I had to look that up, and I’m so glad I didn’t use a private tab. That oughtta make my search results interesting for the next few days.

Such are the consequences of unsheathing one’s sword!

Now, have at ye!