Mastodawn

toilet humher

Assert dominance: Piss on the guard.

Assert dominance: throw bag full of shit at the guard.

Throw guard at guard?

En garde!

… such a manuever may be frot with peril.

I had to look that up, and I’m so glad I didn’t use a private tab. That oughtta make my search results interesting for the next few days.

Such are the consequences of unsheathing one’s sword!

Now, have at ye!

I keep imagining an earnest battle, from which people in the other room hear a chorus of two rapidly chanting “ow ow ow ow ow ow ow”

En guard*

The problem here is selection bias.

Do nothing? This guard.

People start peeing on them? Piss fetish guards.

Same gender inspections? Homosexual guards.

The only people who win are the actual perverts.

Unless you pepper spray them for the pervert they are

BDSM guard