About this time in 2020, I ran across house rules for a Golden Retriever and did some tweaking.
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JAGGER'S HOUSE RULES

1. I can sleep anywhere I choose, even if it means you trip over me.
2. Let me outside even though I just came in - there's an area I forgot to sniff!
3. You must feed me every goodie you eat.
4. Don't "SHHHHH!" me while you're on the phone - I heard the wind blowing the leaves.
5. If it lands on the floor, it's mine!