As of typing though, I am back on my PC! Very, very luckily, the computer store I usually shop at for brand new parts JUST SO HAPPENED to have the motherboard I ordered in stock.
Ordered at 4 PM, went to pick up my new motherboard at 6 PM.
Cue 2 hours of me and my roommate absolutely raging and losing our minds over:
- the I/O shield not allowing us to install the motherboard into the case (ended up without one)
- raging at the front panel connectors (ended up just hooking up the buttons)