a fresh pup of coffee 

When people tell me that I've conflated two unrelated things, I generally figure it's one of three things:

  • I indeed phrased myself poorly, in a way that I did not intend to equate things
  • They misunderstood what I said, but someone else might not have.
  • There was no misunderstanding, but it serves a narrative better to write off the person saying the thing as opposed to what I am saying.

    • I feel that the first two happen in part because I have a communication style that lends itself more to #Neurodivergent understanding.

    When the third happens, I can't really do anything about it, and need to remember who is and is not worth the effort of understanding.

    Apr 12 at 8:09pmWeb
    Show threadMat 16h ago
    @david yeah when you're heading into the area of type 3, that's less a communication mishap than it is their personal problem, and not on your end
    Show threada fresh pup of coffee 16h ago
    @MontaWorldPeace But of course you can never prove the third type, as often as it seems obvious. Because by saying that it's the case, you play into their trap of being able to say that you are making things up or attacking them.
    Show threadMat 15h ago

    @david best response ive ever found for that was fairly pointedly introducing the other person to the fact that, no - i don't believe you're actually that stupid.

    mixed results lol

    Show threada fresh pup of coffee 13h ago

    @MontaWorldPeace When it comes to that kind of misunderstanding on fedi, I have learned to simply not try.

    If they are at the point of presuming something in bad faith here, it is much more to convince themselves and their friends that I'm as bad a person as they've already made me out to be.

    Plenty of examples on this site specifically, some that pop up again from time to time, but to each their own on what they want to believe 

    Show threadOctavia Con Amore  Succubard's Library7h ago
    @MontaWorldPeace @david mixed results, definitely, though I go around at least hoping most people can understand whatever I'm explaining because to believe broadly otherwise would both be depressing and also feels contrary to what I've seen teaching thousands of students