someday love won't feel like a crisis...right??
I want many things but most of all I want to want nothing

what if, instead of stretching my body and doing the thing that makes me feel good and taking care of myself, I panic and wind myself up about this thing that I could probably have if I were less of a goddamned motherfucking disaster?

fuck 🙃

it is so late. I have gotten so little sleep. been moving mountains at work.but I feel like such a wreck and a shell and a disaster and I just want to go with loud music and BLAH instead of thoughtful softening.

gonna continue to resist like the recalcitrant fucking child I am 🙃 :P