I am such a fucking mess lolsob.

I don't understand how so many people rely on me when I am such a goddamned disaster jfc 🙃

this is how I know that none of these people actually know the first thing about me 😂 🙃

so.

My friend came to help me clean. They are a fucking sweetheart. They're also regularly treated like crap based on how they look--like, the last time they went to the ER, the medical notes claimed they were on drugs and unhoused; they were not on drugs and have a cute little home with their partner and a roommate. They're pretty vulnerable.

There's a media room off the lobby. It was a little rambunctious.

We're approaching the front door so we can walk to the liquor store to hit up the ATM (I am paying them to help me with chores while I'm swamped and burnt out from work). As we enter the lobby, I have us hang back because I can hear that a man is banging really hard on the outer door to be let in. I don't let people in, in general; I suuuuuure don't let in belligerent men. So we killed a little time until it was quiet and then booked it out the door.

Dude was in his car right in front of the lobby. He didn't attempt to get up or anything, just kept angrily yelling "can you hold the door" or something until we'd gone more than like a block away. He was pointed away from us on a one way. We figured he'd be gone when we got back.

3 blocks or something later, a car pulls up next to us, onto the cutaway, into our path. I hear "you sure must be hard of hearing" and I start to get extremely fucking scared. I try to swiftly walk away.

My friend is very clearly having a trauma response behind me (I don't blame them) but it has them moving very slowly. I'm trying to hustle them ahead but they are lagging behind and signing at the guy (they have some hearing loss which at one point was pretty extreme). We are able to walk away and to the liquor store, both clearly fucking panicking, this dude ranting at us behind us.

I don't want to walk back to the lobby alone but I sure the fuck don't want my friend to stand at a bus stop for some amount of time alone while this asshole is roaming the streets. We decide to walk to the lobby together to get a Lyft. Our nerves and the noise from the media room mean it takes longer than it should to realize that this man is in the lobby with us.

He is talking on his phone about us. We are seated in the front near the window in a way that means we will have to walk past him to go to the elevator or the exit. He is very loudly ranting about us, using slurs, clearly hoping he'll get a rise out of us, and then moves towards the media room--enough that he's temporarily not blocking us in, but he isn't gone, either.

It takes such a fucking miserable amount of time to get my friend to leave. Such a miserably amount of time. They are having their trauma response and slowing down. but they're going on a familiar route, they do not want to come back to mine, I need to get out of the fucking lobby and I cannot leave until they leave. Finally I get them out (they get home fine) and I get back to my place.

So that's my scary story. There were a few times when I was really fucking reasonably very afraid. And now I don't know what to do. Hooray!