What I REALLY want to know about the news-behind-the-news is, why is Melania suddenly holding press conferences to say that she didn't know nothin' about Jeffrey Epstein and *especially* wasn't having a relationship with him?

I mean, with the right it's ALWAYS projection, right? So if she runs true to form for a conservative this probably means she had an affair with Ghislaine Maxwell.

@cstross 2 theories:

1. She's trying to give her husband a heart attack by bringing up the #EpsteinFiles so she can just get her inheritance already and stop having to pretend to like him
2. She's been taking PR advice from Barbara Streisand

@statsguy A heart attack would argue the existence of a heart. Similarly, an aneurysm would argue the existence of a brain.

She may be hoping for some sort of fatal dyspepsia though.

@cstross