Synthesis of piss from household chemicals, the non-biochemical way.
And it works surprisingly well, that last shot is two drops of the resultant liquid in 150 ml of water.

...have you ever seen a paper that quotes instructables?!
https://arxiv.org/pdf/2603.28875

...anyone with access to a TEM wanna repeat this synthesis and see what they get?

https://pubs.rsc.org/en/content/articlepdf/2014/gc/c3gc42562b

@gigabecquerel I suppose one could attempt to estimate the particle size some other way. I would assume it's easier to fudge up a dynamic light-scattering apparatus at home than anything involving electron microscopy.
@gigabecquerel by a weird coincidence we looked up this one late last night because we stumbled across a mention that when making carbon dots in this way, the fluorescence is due to citrazinic acid (6-hydroxy-2-pyridone-4-carboxylic acid) formed during microwaving, and it was the citrazinic acid we were researching
@gigabecquerel (oh, to be more precise: citrazinic acid is formed in microwave syntheses of N-doped carbon dots involving citric acid and urea)
@mxchara @gigabecquerel Is there an explanation of how the reaction forms the carbon dots etc from the simple starting points?

@penguin42 @gigabecquerel good question! let me see...

...well, this paper (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666893922000366) has the following passage, which seems like a decent summary of the speculation about the mechanism for formation from saccharides specifically:

Although synthesis of CDs from carbohydrates has been extensively studied, synthetic pathway of CDs remains unclear, because there exist diverse intermediates and it is practically difficult to identify all of them (Xu et al., 2014). One plausible mechanism is that the synthetic pathway of CDs begins by the hydrolysis of starch in aqueous phosphoric acid solution. Phosphoric acid was proposed to act as a chemical agent of polysaccharide (Xu et al., 2014). In fact, starch is converted to glucose by hydrolysis in the presence of H+ under hydrothermal condition (Nagamori & Funazukuri, 2004). Although the major product of hydrolysis is glucose, a variety of saccharides including maltose and fructose are also produced (Nagamori & Funazukuri, 2004). Glucose and other saccharides undergo degradation reaction by dehydration, forming furfural intermediates (Titirici & Antonietti, 2010). It is possible that the furfural intermediates are polymerized, and changed to aromatic polymers, which finally condenses to a carbon-like material (Titirici & Antonietti, 2010; Xu et al., 2014). Moreover, hydrogen atoms in glucose may react with hydroxyl groups of other glucose, and formyl groups may react with hydroxyl groups (Bayat & Saievar-Iranizad, 2017). This dehydration of glucose molecules has been proposed as another possible route to condensed carbon-like materials (Bayat & Saievar-Iranizad, 2017; Sun & Li, 2004). Carbon atoms in condensed substances may undergo aromatization to form polymers with aromatic rings under hydrothermal condition (Sun & Li, 2004). Nucleation and growth of aromatic polymers are expected to subsequently occur via cross-linking and cycloaddition reactions of polymers (De & Karak, 2013; Sun & Li, 2004). The resulting carbonized nuclei which are soluble to aqueous solvent become CDs.

@penguin42 @gigabecquerel I'll add my own guess: acceleration of organic reactions due to microwave heating is thought to occur at least partly through localized overheating, and once there was enough dehydration and condensation of organic byproducts of sugar pyrolysis to form a tiny particle, I suspect that the particle may tend to absorb the microwaves selectively and promote further reaction at the surface of the particle.
@mxchara @gigabecquerel OK, so between these it does explain why the earlier articles didn't explain it - it's still a fair amount of guess work!
@penguin42 @gigabecquerel studying such reactions must be quite laborious. maybe if you ran it through a great number of trials where the reaction was quenched early and one looked for key intermediates...
@mxchara @gigabecquerel Couldn't you just let it drip out a drop every few seconds?
@penguin42 @gigabecquerel maybe? surely smarter minds than mine are at work on this right now!