through a queer lenit probably doesn't mean anything that the specific language of harassment I remember are the parts where he was deliberately misgendering me and the specific language my friend remembers are the parts where he called them my girlfriend 🙃
more concerning evidence in the "I'm afraid they are falling in love with me" column, fucking ugggghhh
it was already kind of a loooot, the deliberate pause when they said "it's one of my...languages" (awkwardly tripping on the word love when encouraging me to do this thing, don't even remember what it was)
I just...don't know what to do, tbh 🙃 this isn't really the direction the feelings normally go in...??? normally I am all in on someone who doesn't give a fuck about me. I don't have scripts for someone having feelings for me that I cannot reciprocate.
(my feelings are....confusing and, frankly,, irrelevant atm; they do not change my desired course of action. and it's proooooobably true that my therapist would be more team "you don't have to know things, you can give it time and figure it out" than team "lenny stop being a fucking coward." so there's that.