Cassandra is only carbon now1d ago

So I had to leave #Norwescon after being misgendered for the seventh time. I was looking forward to evening programming, but I can't handle this, and I shouldn't have to to be part of the community.

I won't be coming back for the last day, and I doubt I will be coming back in future years. There's some wonderful people and wonderful panels, but on the whole, this isn't an event that I'm welcome at.

Show threadCassandra is only carbon now

I had a lot of fun, and tried to stick it out so that I could be around cool, neat people doing cool, neat things. But every time that happens, it's another tax and makes me wonder if that's the best place for me to spend my time and energy.

I get it, mistakes happen. But "it's because you were wearing a mask" isn't an excuse for misgendering. "...and ladies and whatever you are" isn't an appropriate response when I point out that not all of us are "gentlemen."

Apr 5 at 2:54amWeb
Show threadCassandra is only carbon now1d ago
"My pronouns are try/me" is not an appropriate badge ribbon. "I can't keep track" isn't an appropriate response when you see a table of trans flag bracelets on a table, nor is "oh that's for male, female, and undecided."
Show threadCassandra is only carbon now1d ago

I'm sorry to all the volunteers and panelists and guests who worked their asses off to make #Norwescon a wonderful and inviting event, only to have that effort ruined by carelessness and malice on the part of a few assholes.

But also I shouldn't have to bear that brunt, either. There were too many people who stood by and let that happen for me to feel like that event is a good use of my time and energy.

Show threadJ. Steven York1d ago
@xgranade
Really sorry that happened to you. Were these people con staff, or just attendees? I don't think I've been to a Norwescon since we left Kirkland for Eugene in the early 90s, and my last con was a very sad Orycon right in the early 2020s. Toxic fandom of various sorts has always been there, and I've stopped going to various cons because of it. Accidents happen, especially with us oldsters, but malicious misgendering folks are scum of the Earth.
Show threadCassandra is only carbon now1d ago
@JSteven A mix, which points to a toxic environment as far as I can tell. And yes, mistakes do happen... that's why I had an obvious and prominent pronouns sticker on my badge.
Show threadJ. Steven York1d ago
@xgranade If it's staff, then that's doubly awful, and at least more within the power of the concom to do something about. Did you report this to senior staff? I've helped run (fan run, which Norwescon still AFAIK) conventions back in the day, and they're more like amoeba than an organization with a central nervous system, but somebody should have TRIED to do something about this. If nobody at the top is interested, then the organization is absolutely in trouble.
Show threadJ. Steven York1d ago
@xgranade
And I'm not excusing it, or putting any responsibility for you do to anything but take care of yourself and walk away. But you're not the only person attending subject to such discrimination and abuse, and the convention can't act if they don't know the problem (and preferably, fast). So if you had wanted to report and/or make a stink, it might have helped others. If I'd been there, I'd have headed right for the con office and made my problem known to the highest person I could find.
Show threadcthos 🐱1d ago
@xgranade jesus
Show threadBlake C. Stacey1d ago
@xgranade yikes