Human GhostwriterIt's time to retire masculinity. If it had any utility, we have outlived it. I'm gonna take my dick and my beard and do whatever I want forever.
"That's not masculine!" Who fucking cares? Leave me alone.
DJDarren@HG The older I get, the less I understand what masculinity means, or what purpose it serves.
`Da ElfIt's such a caricature. Like, sure, Rambo hip firing two machine guns at skeleton dinosaurs while riding on a rocket-powered skateboard and sporting a comically oversized erection sounds funny for a second, but to then take that and say "this will be my entire life and the foundation for a lifelong hatred of women" is clown behavior.
Isaac Freeman@HG This is where I always barge into conversation with a wild-eyed look and bang a copy of Susan Faludi's _Stiffed_ onto the table saying “There's more than one masculinity! That's just the bullshit individualist neoliberal one! There's a better masculinity with like dignity and mentorship and solidarity and socialism! It doesn't even have to feel threatened by feminism!”
I think I am OK ultimately rejecting all types of prescriptive rubrics for my behaviors and preferences. I would rather not trade one set of rules for a slightly more palatable set. I want my life to resemble Calvinball.
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷@Tooden I mean… I guess literally yes, but the intent is different. The implication of NotAllMen is that you're not supposed to criticise any form of masculinity in case it offends a man who wants to be recognised for being different.
The intent here is more… fuck that preening performative hollow self-obsessed macho bullshit that they manufacture that to make men feel inadequate so it's easier to extract money from them. If you want to define yourself as a man (and you don't need to do that) start by finding some role models who are decent human beings and aren't trying to play you for a complete rube.
Those arseholes don't own masculinity. There
are plenty of ways to be masculine, even old-school traditional masculine, that aren't about performing how big a dick you can be to everyone around you. If you really want to be a man then be a good man.
Loohoosaher@hwll It doesn't. But if someone does want to to be a manly manny man, there are plenty of good ways to do it. However you want to engage or disengage with concepts of masculinity, I don't think we should cede the definition to the stupidest possible interpretation.
I do understand the impulse to reject gender binaries, and all power to anyone who does that. But I've learned from trans friends that some people really do identify strongly with a particular gender. If someone can be so certain that it's right for them to be a man that it overrides what they're told all their lives, then I have to assume that some cis men can also identify that strongly with masculinity.
So… if being manly is your thing, I think you should aim to be a good man. A lot of what's sold to us as being manly is actually just being a bully, so don't fall for that.
Alex the NaughtOk, the visual makes me giggle every time I think of it.
@DJDarren Masculinity is for being a decent person who puts other people first, and behaves with honesty and integrity. You can also do this with femininity, but masculinity is especially good for people who think they're supposed to always do things in some kind of man way. These people need good role models who aren't spoilt whiny self-entitled failsons.
@isaacfreeman But, like, how is that way of being gendered? What about it specifically makes it so that it must be unique to masculine people?
This is where I’m at. Why is there a societal Way Of Being for people who (mostly) have a penis that MUST differ from the other half of people?
As a Penis-Haver, I’d like to imagine that I cut about in the world in much the same way as a Vulva-Haver, treating people with the kindness and dignity that I would expect to receive, being as helpful as I can offer and generally not being a shithouse. @HG
Sasyecat