Try just using digital TV. I get like 20 channels on mine with just a coax cable hooked to a VCR!

But then I’m tied to “normal” tv channels saturated with ads, yeah?

That’s very much part of the experience you seem to crave /s

It won’t really feel like a tv channel until I put 5 minutes of prescription drug commercials between every cut in a show.

prescription drug commercials

Referencing anal leakage and death while an upbeat jingle plays in the background to some smiling old people playing horseshoes or hiking in nature.

Talk to your doctor today!