This is a personal thread in which I discuss my very own experiences with #genderdysphoria.
I emphasize „my very own“, because gender dysphoria come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and some non-cis folks do not experience it all. Therefor, of course, I cannot speak for others and their experiences.
1/6
On July 14, 2024 (yes, Nonbinary Day, it was quite a coincidence) I realized I am #agender. And looking back, I have been performing as a woman for decades; with long hair, skirts, dresses…
Like I was playing a part on a stage. Each and every day.
2/6
And I realized I was done with playing that part. I got myself a buzz cut (and photos of that actually give me gender euphoria). I got rid of all the skirts and dresses, because I feel much more comfortable in trousers. Because while clothes do not have a gender per se, some are traditionally viewed as feminine (skirts and dresses) whereas trousers are worn by people of any gender, at least in most Western societies. So you could argue that trousers are rather gender-neutral.
3/6
I also noticed that I don’t feel good when I look at old photos of myself in skirts, dresses and with long hair. Of course I do not have control over the hundreds of photos people have taken of me in past years and decades (one of them is my mum, a passionate hobby photographer).
But I do have control over what photos and videos I show of myself online. So I deleted several old videos in my YouTube channel where I do readings of my novels. And I have deleted several photos online.
4/6
And personally, I do not need validation by others (or the state) regarding legal documents that I am agender. I know that is a privilege, because for some other non-cis folks, this can be a very painful matter.
6/6
Amalia Zeichnerin